I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
