On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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