you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
