loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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