my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
