Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
