I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
