Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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