Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
