Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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