don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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