There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
