Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
