Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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