We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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