To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
