Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
