I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
