I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
