So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
