I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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