he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
