hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
