When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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