i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
