i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
