Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
