Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
