glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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