im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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