a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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