I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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