i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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