apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
