Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
