So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
