When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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