so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
