He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
