I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
