and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
