if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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