Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
