Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
