My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
