are you so shy because you have an std?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
