Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
