I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
