I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
