why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
