another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
