guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
