my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
