I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
